Our Relationship

Let's chat about this.

Translink to Me is like oil to water, oxygen to a flame, a rogue baseball to a window. We just shouldn't be mixed.

If translink was a person we would constantly bash heads. It would be like two elk going at it in the wilderness. I, of course being the prettier elk. Antlers crashing, possible grunting. Just for effect let's throw these elk in a cage... Cage match!

I'm a believer in Murphy's Law and with transit, it never fails.

Take this morning for instance. I woke up on time thus allowing me to leave on time to catch the 7:57 701 to Coquitlam station. I got to the bus stop at 7:47 and waited. Almost excitedly. Today is the day I'll have time to get Starbucks before work! The usuals start arriving at the stop then 7:57 rolls around... No bus. We look around at each other and shrug. Typical 701!

Let me give you a quick briefing on the 701.
Worst bus ever! It is never on time. It runs on it's own schedule. The one posted at the stops along it's route are arbitrary and mean absolutely nothing.

Anyway, back to the story. Because the 7:57 didn't arrive until 8:04 I didn't make the 8:06 169 to Braid which means no tall no whip pepperment hot chocolate. Ugh. Instead I'm on the 8:20 169 with Picky McGee who two days ago decided it was necessary to pick his nose the entire way to Braid station (whole other post) on one side of me and a very tired snorer who decided my left leg is a resting place for his hand.

However! There is a new person on this bus, he's making things a little better. He looks like Bryson from my life is Liz - that MTV show that for some reason has me hooked. (we will not be discussing my tv viewing habits ever)

I don't know why I can't sync my schedule in the morning with that of the 701... Oh dear god skunk... But I only have a few days left of taking it. I'm sure the 129 to Edmonds will have some good stories too...

There is a woman standing infront of a seat on the train but won't sit... I'm not seeing the logic.

I'm fairly certain my train ran over a skunk.

First

Alright, here's the 'sitch.

Between telling my stories of the ridiculous but often funny situations I encounter on the bus on my way to/from work or my tale of being asked out by a 12 year old I was told to create a "comic sketch". Thats not going to happen. I was thinking about wearing a lapel camera to record everything... privacy issues, no go. So I caved and started this blog.

The purpose is to share the sitations I encounter on the bus and/or train on a day to day basis.

When the bus is completely empty, but you feel like sitting next to someone... you're sitting beside me. I don't like you for it. But what am I going to do? I'll suck it up and hold my breath if you're having an 'i-woke-up-too-late-to-shower-and-dont-care-how-bad-i-smell-i-still-want-to-sit-next-to-someone" kind of day, and believe me when i say there are too many of you.

I'm also the person you yell at from across the bus in hopes of me letting you use my cell phone to call your "mom" or "dad" or goodness knows whoever. Ask me after 9pm and i'll consider it, but unless you're going to pay for my per minute billing, its not going to happen.

Some of you might ask: "Hey! Why not buy a car so you don't have to complain about this stuff anymore?"
I'll tell you why.
1.I live in "Metro Vancouver" where the cost of living is gold shillings.
2.I work a job that pays me in pebbles.
3.I don't have anyone to teach me.
4. 'young drivers' is not an option (refer to point 2)
5. I would drive like I was in a video game. What do you mean drifting along the Barnet Hwy isn't legal?! Hogwash!

Point being, I'm poor...ish and transit is the only option.

I can't promise this blog will be great. or good. or even mediocre.
But I'll try. I'm not a blogger, I don't know the blogger etiquette, (Oh, don't act like there isn't one) and to be honest i don't care to learn it.

I'm not sure yet if I'm going to keep this strictly about transit situations (I have 5 years worth of stories) or if I'll branch off into meaningful subjects, but what I do know is that sometimes my posts will be all over the place, sometimes they wont make sense, and sometimes they'll just ramble and ramble and ramble and ra--, see?

I'm horrible at endings and chances are I'll just abruptly end most posts...

With that being said "I'm not great at farewells, so uh... that'll do, pig"